My nightmares are usually about losing you..

So yesterday night was a little bit shit.. i don´t know what happen to me, but i had not a good moon for sure. I was waiting for my boyfriend all the day " Yes honey, i will not come back too late as the last time" he said. Not like the last time, but later! at 2.30 a.m. people sleep normally if they have school the day after. He comes and ask me why i´m sleeping.. are you kidding me? I was already a little bit angry but when i discovered that he drunk after his promise " i won´t drink anymore" i was really nervous and we start to fight. The end? Me crying like a kid in bed and he screaming " affectionately" with me because i can´t trust him. I trust him, more than anyone else. It´s just he doesn´t understand that i´m scared. He leaves at 3.00 p.m and he comes back 10 hours later, and i don´t really know if he´s still ok, or drunk or if he comes back home. It could be everything happen.. At the end is everything ok, we clarified everything but btw, now i´m thinking.. maybe is too much? Maybe i´m too anxious? Don´t know.. i don´t REALLY know.. the only thing i´m sure about is i don´t wanna lose him. :( what should i do?

Maybe i love him too much.

--> now i´m going to buy for him my Christmas Gift. I have already found for my mom, i will give her next week. But for him.. I wanted to buy him the new blackberry phone, but i have not so much money so i´m thinking about something else - i won´t write there what it is ´cause sometimes he reads my blog :/ - and maybe a plant for my room ´cause the other one is dead T-T i´m thinking maybe bamboo.. it´s easy to treat and nice..^^ so have a nice day.. here in Berlin today is SUNNY!! So will be really perfect! bye!!! xoxo, Vero

and i'll learn your notes so that i have a clue
and i'll watch your films so i'll know them through and through
and i'll do the things that remind me of you
and i'll wash my hair in your shampoo
and i'll buy your perfume and spray it round my room
and i'll smoke your cigarettes so that i'm dying too